My story
I was completely head over heels in love with a man, a wonderful kind caring man. He was the kind of man I had dreaMy story
I was completely head over heels in love with a man, a wonderful kind caring man. He was the kind of man I had dreamt about meeting. He had many beautiful qualities, but the best of all was that he loved me back. Being in love with someone who feels the same way about you, is the most amazing feeling in the world. Perhaps you have experienced that feeling as well? When I was with him, I felt like I was complete. When we were apart, it was like a part of me was missing.We were together for three years when things started to go wrong. My man, I'll call him James although that's not his real name, started becoming distant. It wasn't a sudden thing, it was very gradual. I don't think I could even say exactly when it started, although I do know how. He started working late. At first, just a few days a week. But he started coming home later and later, and before very long, it was every evening.I was convinced he was seeing another woman. I couldn't understand why though. Everything between us had been so good. Why did he feel the need to start seeing someone else?Of course, I confronted him over this, and at first he denied everything. We would end up arguing, and with time, the arguments became screaming matches, and one or other of us would invariably storm out of the house, and I always ended up crying. I desperately wanted things to be like the were before. I wanted to snap my fingers and make everything right again, but I couldn't do anything right. James started staying out all night. Then one horrible day, my worst fears were confirmed when my best friend called to say she had seen him out with another woman.When I put that to him, he broke down and confessed all. He told me that yes he was seeing someone else. But the worst was yet to come. James then told me that he was moving out of the house, and was going to move in with this other woman.As he spoke those words, it felt like he had plunged a knife into my chest, and cut out my heart. Everything that happened in the days that followed became a kind of blur. I felt a strange detachment, like nothing was quite real. My mind couldn't keep up with the endless questions that were racing through it...why had this happened? What had I done to deserve this? Why me? Why now? What could I do to stop it?Within a few days he was gone – he had taken his belongings and left. The last time he closed the door behind him, I collapsed on the floor, unable to control the floods of tears...the agony...the writhing pain in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to die. I felt worse than alone – I felt like a huge part of me had been cut out and taken away. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of total helplessness. And still the questions kept coming...the biggest of all were “Why has this happened?” and “How can I fix this?”In the weeks and months that follow James departure, my life quickly degenerated. My work suffered, my health suffered, and even my friends didn't seem to want to be around me. Why would they? I was no fun to be with, I seemed to bring a cloud of gloom into any room I walked in to. Those friends that I did still see tried to help, but they didn't seem to understand how I felt. In fact, in their efforts to try and comfort me, they only seemed to make matters worse! They would say things like “He was cheating on you, you're much better off without him” or “There are plenty more fish in the sea!”. Why didn't they understand that I didn't care about 'other fish' – I wanted James?! Nobody could answer the questions that kept me awake every night...Why did this happen? How can I fix this?
mt about meeting. He had many beautiful qualities, but the best of all was that he loved me back. Being in love with someone who feels the same way about you, is the most amazing feeling in the world. Perhaps you have experienced that feeling as well? When I was with him, I felt like I was complete. When we were apart, it was like a part of me was missing.We were together for three years when things started to go wrong. My man, I'll call him James although that's not his real name, started becoming distant. It wasn't a sudden thing, it was very gradual. I don't think I could even say exactly when it started, although I do know how. He started working late. At first, just a few days a week. But he started coming home later and later, and before very long, it was every evening.I was convinced he was seeing another woman. I couldn't understand why though. Everything between us had been so good. Why did he feel the need to start seeing someone else?Of course, I confronted him over this, and at first he denied everything. We would end up arguing, and with time, the arguments became screaming matches, and one or other of us would invariably storm out of the house, and I always ended up crying. I desperately wanted things to be like the were before. I wanted to snap my fingers and make everything right again, but I couldn't do anything right. James started staying out all night. Then one horrible day, my worst fears were confirmed when my best friend called to say she had seen him out with another woman.When I put that to him, he broke down and confessed all. He told me that yes he was seeing someone else. But the worst was yet to come. James then told me that he was moving out of the house, and was going to move in with this other woman.As he spoke those words, it felt like he had plunged a knife into my chest, and cut out my heart. Everything that happened in the days that followed became a kind of blur. I felt a strange detachment, like nothing was quite real. My mind couldn't keep up with the endless questions that were racing through it...why had this happened? What had I done to deserve this? Why me? Why now? What could I do to stop it?Within a few days he was gone – he had taken his belongings and left. The last time he closed the door behind him, I collapsed on the floor, unable to control the floods of tears...the agony...the writhing pain in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to die. I felt worse than alone – I felt like a huge part of me had been cut out and taken away. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of total helplessness. And still the questions kept coming...the biggest of all were “Why has this happened?” and “How can I fix this?”In the weeks and months that follow James departure, my life quickly degenerated. My work suffered, my health suffered, and even my friends didn't seem to want to be around me. Why would they? I was no fun to be with, I seemed to bring a cloud of gloom into any room I walked in to. Those friends that I did still see tried to help, but they didn't seem to understand how I felt. In fact, in their efforts to try and comfort me, they only seemed to make matters worse! They would say things like “He was cheating on you, you're much better off without him” or “There are plenty more fish in the sea!”. Why didn't they understand that I didn't care about 'other fish' – I wanted James?! Nobody could answer the questions that kept me awake every night...Why did this happen? How can I fix this?